In no particular order:
- Those who have not yet figured out deodorant should not be allowed to exercise in public.
- The greater the number of hippy bumper stickers, the worse the driver.
- The inverse restaurant sign size/quality relationship: there is a direct but inverse correlation between the size of the sign promoting a restaurant and its quality.
- Obese people should not be giving diet advice.
- Neighborhoods with murals are inherently sketchy.
- One whose breasts are larger than her buttocks is voluptuous. One whose buttocks are larger than her breasts is fat.
- If one is going to fight a war of technological superiority, it’s a very bad idea to kill off all the Jews.
- Virtual presents should only be bought with Schrute bucks.
